The devil within me.

Two posts in one day is a bit much, I know. Even for me. And normally I would be proud of myself because normally this post would accompany some type of pretty picture too. Today is not one of those days. Today is a different kind of animal.

First, let me start by saying that if I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it well. It will be done right the first time around. This, one may say, is the result of a self-proclaimed perfectionist. Read: My issue. To put it simply, I hate working and I'm a great worker. I'm not just saying that to give myself a pat on the back either. Truth be told, many of the jobs I've held have resulted in promotions, which is really just a nice way of saying that you now own more responsibility. I've learned that working well looks a lot like being ambitious. People assume that I'm career driven because of the work I do. But in reality, my visions and dreams of the future involve one day raising children nicely nestled at home. And according to my mom, even when I was a teenager (long before the idea of babies was bouncing around my head), I expressed my disinterest in holding a career. So why work? Well, to pay the bills of course. But at what expense? I remember in high school we would take mental health days - a full day of relaxation to do whatever one pleased. When you start working, you don't get mental health days anymore. You get time off or vacation days. And sometimes, sadly, those days are used for doctor's appointments and/or the bazillion other projects in your life that haven't yet managed to squeeze into a meager 2 day weekend. Why can I not live my life doing the things I love - reading, writing, drawing...making yarn necklaces (coming soon!). So much of my life is consumed by work. A career I don't care about. At all. And.never.will. It's pathetically sad. And maybe this is all stemming from the fact that I'm stuck at work while 90% of the population has off in celebration of the holidays. Boo me, I know. I've also realized, as of late, that I'm horrendous multi-tasker. So maybe I'm just doing a really piss poor job of balancing life and work. What do you think???