Bump. Bump. originally written November 21st, 2013.

See the disclaimer here.

November 21, 2013

I really should have known better. It seems all of that previously gleeful, estrogen-induced optimism plummeted with the appearance of my rising temperatures. Damn you progesterone. Now all that I'm left with is fatigue, frustration and a mounting sense of despair.

I'm also extremely aggravated because I thought I was 6dpo (days past ovulation), but realized all too slowly that number's more likely only 4dpo. Which, okay, I see doesn't seem to be a big deal. 2 measly days. What's the difference?

Well, I'll tell you. This two week wait is so dreadful that adding back 2 more days is painful to my brain. I'm so tired of over analyzing and fretting. Also, it puts the timing of certain important monthly events poorly. It means that I'll have to endure a pregnancy test when my family is at my house for Thanksgiving which I was hoping to avoid. I kind of was wanting and wishing to be able to prepare myself mentally ahead of time... for good or bad news. Also, pharmacies are closed for the holidays, which means should I actually get that shining, beautiful positive I've been dreaming of, I'll have to wait quite a number of days before I'm able to pick up any Lovenox . And THAT means, I'll be worrying like crazy about another early miscarriage.

You see how this is all spinning out of control? I'll probably test early, but I'm not sure it'll do any good.

All because I drank on Saturday. Sunday morning was "the" day. Sunday morning's temperature was critical to determining whether I had ovulated on Friday or Sunday and basically I had enough adult beverages at Saturday night's wedding reception to have to discard any reading the following morning.  So now I've been making up pretend numbers for that day and seeing what fertility friend tells me. Let's just pretend...

I hate limbo. Hate. Hate. Hate.

Another thing I hate? This familiar aching on my right side. It's baaaack. And so soon :/ Last month, after the surgery, I felt no pain. This month, after supposed ovulation took place, that dull ache crept back into my ovary. I called my doctor, and he seems to be under the impression that it's likely a cyst. Greaaaaat. Just wanted I wanted to hear. I have the option to go in for an ultrasound to confirm his hypothesis, but right now I'm sticking my head in the sand and hoping it dies a slow quick death. My cyst, that is. Not my ovary.

Regardless, this path just keeps on gettin' bumpier and bumpier. When does the smooth sailing start? Can I please sign up for that part? And soon!?