Behold, my backyard.

Family flowering day was a success! Although less family members, the result was just the same. A beautiful backyard to admire. This years bonus? A patio set to replace our former picnic table seating. Oh, how I could tell you about the gorgeous flowers and plants my mom and I purchased. Or the amazing way the weather stayed at bay, giving us warm breezes and sunshiney spots instead of the thunderstorms originally forecasted. I could tell you all about how grateful I am to have parents who will come by to help us and how much I enjoy each new tidbit of wisdom they pass down to me. I could tell you about how overjoyed I was that my dad helped us fix our lawn mower and that we were  finally able to tame the thigh high (no exaggerations) grass which had been growing wild for all of April. Or how we caught a cab down to our favorite spot in Manayunk for drinks and appetizers. All of those things are true. It was a fabulous day. 

Yes, that is indeed mostly crab grass. Thank you for noticing.  Lawn = work in process.

A week ago. There have already been more additions made!

Orange lilies yet to bloom, along with purple salvia. By far, my favorite bed so far.

Apricot colored roses, with a fade of soft pastels.

Hubs and Dad, enjoying a cold one. After all, it was well deserved!

I could also tell you about Friday afternoon, how I drank a red bull and cranked up the music, all in an attempt to find my hidden motivation for cleaning in preparation of Saturday. I could also tell you, regrettably, how I was wide awake at 1am as a result. And then 2 am. And then 3. All the way to the point where, after wiping clean my DVR of all saved shows, in a moment of angst I decided to pour myself a very stiff cranberry and vodka. And I could also tell you about the way it lulled me to sleep, finally, hours past my bedtime. I could tell you that Saturday night I was in tears of frustration, because finally my day had arrived, my made-up family holiday was here, and I was so damn exhausted. That a part of me wanted to curl up in bed. I could have told you about my perfect day. And it was perfect in so many ways. But I will also be honest and admit that I failed miserably in others. So take note, although caffeine helps to speed up a spiffy house, IT IS NOT WORTH IT. Family flowering day almost crashed and burned. But with the help of those I love, we prevailed.

My beloved event was held last weekend, and yes, I'm pitiful and am only getting around to sharing the tale now. My backyard is still a work in progress. The type of work I don't mind doing. Dots of inspiration here and there. 

This weekend, I was a spectator at a little event called the Tough Mudder. Pictures coming soon...

Have you heard?

I've never seen a ghost. I've only recently ever visited a psychic and I hate scary movies. I am, admittedly, a little intrigued by what we're unable to sense. That whole five senses thing; Yeah, that's just our way of describing what we already have access to in life. What are we missing? What things can our little pea brains not conjure? I like the example of water. If you never saw it, felt it, tasted it, you could never ever think it up. The consistency. The lack of shape. The feel. You're just not that good. We're not that good. Even our creativity is limited to the limits we've experienced. So, this is my disclaimer. I've never seen a ghost.

My husband's father passed away a little over a year ago. Sometimes, with a few drinks in us, hubs and I will be talking around our dining room kitchen, and the lights will dim. Sometimes we think it's him, joining our conversation. And yes, you can for SURE make the argument that it's wishful thinking and that our house is old. The electric is old. You turn on the dryer and the lights will dim. Okay, I get that. It's far fetched. Understood.

A few nights ago, at approximately 1:47 am (yes, I know - I checked to make sure it wasn't witching hour. That would have really freaked me out), I woke up. Hubbies and I were sound asleep, comfortably wrapped in our comforter, when I awoke to music. It was a hazy kind of wakefulness. It took me a moment to realize the music was coming from our room, not outside. And then, I was as wide awake as awake can be. Because the music was coming from OUR room. Our computer, to be more exact. Our computer, which was lying on the floor all evening. And suddenly, our room was now engulfed in loud music. A song I'd never heard. A song WE DON'T OWN. Not on iTunes. Not anywhere. I hastily woke up hubby. And then I frantically tried to listen to the words of the song, because this was just too weird. And the weirdest part about it all was that the song actually faded out. No power shut off kind of done. A slow, fading of the chorus we were hearing. I immediately jumped out of bed and grabbed that laptop. To my disbelief, it was off. Completely off. I'm a rational person, so I was still convinced that maybe we were listening to Pandora or Grooveshark. One of those programs, before our computer went to sleep. Maybe a mouse scurried across the touchpad and turned the computer on. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. And so, at almost 2 am, I was scrambling to turn on our laptop....

And I found it blank. Not an application open. No Pandora. No iTunes. No explanation for how our room suddenly filled with the sound of music. So I did the next best thing. I looked up the lyrics I'd heard. Turns out the song is by the Zac Brown Band featuring Jimmy Buffet. It's called Knee Deep, and here are the verses we were awakened to:

Cause now I'm knee deep in the water somewhere
Got the blue sky breeze blowing wind through my hair

Only worry in the world is the tide gonna reach my chair
Sunrise there's a fire in the sky
Never been so happy
Never felt so high
And I think I might have found me my own kind of paradise

I've never seen a ghost. But I think I may have heard one. How does that happen? How does a computer randomly turn on, to play a song not saved, and then fade back to the power off position? All within a matter of minutes at approximately 1:47 am. Tell me. Please.

 

Intuition, at its best.

Sometimes, you just know. There’s an overall feeling. You can over analyze a situation, and still, you'll be left with that same conclusion. Call it what you will – a hunch, a gut feeling, intuition.  It’s all of these. I’m not sure why it happens, but I certainly know when it does. And that’s where I’ve been lately. Following an instinct. There were three paths ahead, each with very different destinations. A decision which will indeed and undoubtedly shape the course of my life. And so it goes, that this is how I found myself changing career paths yet again and working for a different organization. And I really do believe it's meant to be. How else can I explain my lack of nerves leading up to my first day? There's been zero anxiety in the anticipation of change. And that's how I know I made the right decision. A decision which took up an entire evening of grueling comparisons and long, heated conversations between hubs and I.  Only a very small portion of people understand my choice, even after I shed light on my reasoning. I’m going against the grain. I walked away from more money, and that’s difficult for people to understand. At the end of the day, I have to be true to who I am. I realize that as I say this, I’m spoiled in my decision. I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to walk away. Not everyone can say the same. What was that hierarchy? Maslow's law of needs or some such. I won’t even try to say that I’ve gone without, because that would be a pitiful lie. I will say that I’ve always attempted to make the most of what I have. If you ask me what life is made of, my answer would be family. Relationships are what make happiness in life. And sure, being able to afford a lavish trip to some remote island doesn’t hurt, but at the end of the day, it’s really not about what you can afford. It’s about how you choose to live. It’s your lifestyle. If you can’t be happy in your everyday life, change courses. From what I’ve observed, most people don’t even fully understand what makes them tick; what makes them happy. They follow false hopes and aspirations and are confused why they still feel unfulfilled when they reach their final destination. So ask yourself, what are you aiming for in life? What are your dreams? And don't let anyone tell you that it has to be the biggest or the best. Sometimes, it's not bad to be in the background, going about your life in the most ordinary, happy ways.

So this change is either going to make me supremely happy or be a very big lesson learned in life. Here's to hoping for the former.

Painting with color.

I recall being in school, oh around maybe 8th grade or so, and a fellow classmate of mine asking in quite the disdainful tone why I wore makeup. Because after all, those were my glitz and glamor years. Hah! Not exactly (pretty far from it in fact) but I was experimenting with eye shadows and liners at the time. It wasn't until years later that I perfected the art of subtlety, learning that makeup's purpose is to enhance, not steal the spotlight. Regardless, I told that classmate of mine to shove it up her you know what. Well, in my dreams that's how it went down that day. In reality, what I really told her (insert defensively) was that makeup was like art and I was painting my face. Does that sound weird? I still sometimes think of the analogy as I get ready in the morning. There's always been this knack for drawing and painting that I possess, but it's passionless. So what do you do with a skill you don't have the urge to utilize? Apparently you use it elsewhere in life. If you had asked me just two years ago about my gardening skills, I would have showed you my one lone houseplant and proudly announced that I had kept it alive for more than a year. Now, suddenly, I've evolved into a weed pulling, flower planting, homeowner. Who knew hobbies like this just show up in life!? If only I'd had this skill set back when I was in college, when they'd ask you on the first day of class what your hobbies were. I still remember those dreadful responses... "Oh, um... I like reading and snowboarding. And, watching TV?" Anyway, to take this conversation back to the original intention: I decided yesterday evening, after my neighbor asked me if I woke up thinking about my yard (not true) because I'm always outside doing something these days, that I'm painting again. I'm painting with... plants. This has become my own form of artistic expression. Colors here and there. Different sizes and shapes. Designs which grow freely and evolve. I'm painting, just with a different type of brush stroke. 



And no, this is not the big news I had planned to share. This is just a little tidbit on life I decided to post to hold you over. Until then... enjoy the sunshine.

Settled.

Truth be told, I've been feeling a little off lately. I promise it's not for lack of material that has left these walls unwritten. And I won't blame it on not having enough time either because, I read an article which pointed out more accurately, that time is really just priorities. As I mentioned. You choose what's most important and what can wait. So, I am proud to say that after watering the garden and dinner being made (buffalo meatballs - finally! Yay Anna :), I am now fully ready to dedicate the next ten something minutes of my time lounging in bed, laptop in hand, in my favorite J.Crew nightie. Does that paint a pretty picture for you? Oh, if only you could see! What I'm saying really is that my nails, for yet another evening, are unpainted. The upstairs of my house is, still, an embarrassing mess. My novels will, again, have to wait for yet another moment in time.


And in all of this, I still have yet to share any actual news. Or moments of inspiration. Changes are coming though. I'm inviting them in actually. And it's amusing how little anxiety I have about it. I was recently faced with a rather large fork in the road. One with three options. So, I took a leap of faith. And I use that term loosely. I followed my intuition and I have no doubts about where it will lead me. Somehow I just know, it's where I'm supposed to go. Here's to the path forward being a settled one.


I want to share more. Really, I do. But my husband just walked in holding my favorite tea. And some things, some moments, are better spent elsewhere. How can I resist? 


Good things come to those who wait though, right? 


...

Time is of the essence.

Irony is having a ridiculous amount of ideas, changes in life and topics to discuss, but not having the time to actually document them. Any of them. And I've learned that time is really just about priorities. So please, don't take offense to the neglect I've been showing both my camera and my computer screen lately. My tidbits of inspiration, if not for the dramatic, life altering changes too, will be peeping through shortly. See you soon my friends...


too-da-loo!